Friday, June 25, 2010


The world has homely, untalented people and it also has talented, beautiful people; I'm glad I fall in the second category.  I'm also thankful for my humble nature.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Flamingo and the Zoo Keeper; the rest of the story

Nadia and Luka looked so cute when I took them to the zoo today.  Luka made no fuss about the outfit I chose for him while Nadia took a whole two days to persuade to dress like a pink flamingo instead of a peacock.  I went on and on about how pretty the flamingos were and how she can stand on one leg just like they do.  I argued that it's really only the boy peacocks that look pretty and would she really want to dress like a boy?  In the end she agreed happily that the flamingo was the way to go and she couldn't wait to compare herself to the real thing.
So....this morning I woke up the kids and surprised them with super delicious homemade monkey bread (100% sugar and carbs, and I one-and-a-halved the caramel sauce to make them extra gooey) and we dressed and headed to the zoo on our sugar high.  After about an hour at the zoo the crash (and burn) set in and Luka had had enough.  He pooped then started screaming at the top of his lungs and and threw his juice bottle on the ground repeatedly after kind strangers kept giving it back to him.  I changed his pants and even though this only quieted him for a mili-second, I had promised Nadia a carousel ride. After the ride, I tried to sneak out of the zoo without having to go all the way to the other end to see the ever beautiful pink flamingos I had spend two days talking about.  We got all the way to the gates, Luka strapped in the wagon wailing as if he had been severely beaten and trying his best to throw himself over the sides even though he was strapped in, when Nadia looked around and asked with huge tears welling in her eyes, "where's the pink-amingos?  I want to see the pink-amingos!"  I tried to explain that they were sleeping, that it was too hot for them and that they must have been hiding today but she would have none of it.  She remembered where they lived from our previous zoo exhibitions and called me out right in front of the one of the zoo guards. 
There was no way she was going to walk fast enough to get this over with at the rate it needed to be over. I threw her in the wagon and at least she looked cute with her triumphant smile as I hauled her, the cooler and the hysterical, screaming, flailing mass that was Luka all the way back across the zoo.  Did I mention that the cooler was much too big for the wagon so Nadia had to stand in front of Luka where she hunched over the top of the cooler trying not to get kicked? Children stopped and stared at us.  Parents looked away.  Some of the smaller animals ran and hid. 
We made it to the flamingos.  I took a few pictures of Nadia while Luka caught his breath.  After Luka had fully resumed kicking and screaming we headed back to the car.  After about a minute I looked back and Luka wasn't wearing his hat.  I would have kept going and just said screw the hat, but we had come this far, what was one more round back to the flamingos?  Everyone had already seen the sight, it's not like I was seconds from peace and quiet, right?  So we went back, got the hat and I stuffed it in my purse.  A quick look to see that there was nothing that could be thrown, dropped or forgotten and I bolted for the car.
I walked as fast as I could, looking straight ahead not making eye contact with anyone.  I didn't look back at the kids but just listened for Luka's screams and Nadia's "Ouch! Luka kicked me!"'s to know that no one had fallen out of the wagon or gotten a stray arm or leg run over by the wheels.
We made it back to the car in 30 minutes, it may have been the longest thirty minutes on record.  Luka slept the whole way home.

Flamingo and the Zoo Keeper

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Some cute stuff

Nadia says golfin' instead of dolphin and Grandma Nora always says "yes, I know, you like to go golf'in just like your daddy does!" and elvagators, you know, those things in Dorrance that hold grain? When she's scared, she doesn't feel safet and when she can't get comfortable she says, "I'm not wrong!".  She use to say her favorite TV show was Icky Mouse Cusshouse and she called bugs "boofs" for a really long time.  While most kids say duck and pony, Nadia always says geese and foal. 
The newest thing that cracks me up is when she refers to inanimate objects as Mr. and Ms., for example, "hello Mr. Tall Tree!".  She also referred to the leopard on the carousel at the zoo as her leopard friend as she said goodbye to it...goodbye my leopard friend!  Oh, and she insists she's a gull instead of a girl.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Shake a tail feather!

This morning after taking off her soaking (and I mean SOAKING) wet diaper, Nadia started to chase me around backwards with her butt sticking out, trying to rub her butt on my leg!  I couldn't figure this gross yet very hysterical ritual.  After a minute of me screaming and running away from her she bent over to reveal a little red feather hidden between her butt cheeks!!!  She found the feather on the floor in her bedroom and decided a good storage place would be between her butt cheeks.  She was trying to tickle me with the feather but because her booty was so wet it just stuck to her cheeks.  Then she exclaimed, "it's part of my skin, now!".  .....Yep, that's my girl!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

If my kids are normal, let this be a warning to the childless...

Yesterday started out as a pretty normal day other than the fact that I was actually up before 8 a.m. and the kids AND I were showered and dressed before 9 a.m.  I gave them a special breakfast of doughnuts and cinnamon rolls (Ok, half of a doughnut and a fourth of the cinnamon roll each, I said it was special, not ridiculous) and thought to myself "hey, this day is looking pretty productive already!".  Oh why must I ever think to myself???
I noticed a large bump on Luka's forehead that looked just like the spider bite Nadia had a few weeks earlier and decided that must have been the reason he was up screaming at 12:30 the night before.  As the morning wore on, he became very clingy to me and very crabby toward life in general.  I gave him some medicine and put him in the Ergo backpack and carried him around with me while I went about my daily routine. 
After finishing a few loads of laundry I decided it was lunch time. I took him off my back and gave him a plate of food, to which he pushed away with force and shouted NO.  Luka never turns down food so I decided that although he pushed his food away he was still hungry but wanted me to hold him while he ate.  After all, wouldn't he feel so much better if he had something in his tummy?
I gave him a small piece of hot dog, he started coughing a little and took the partially chewed dog out of his mouth.  He then gave me a cute smile and it suddenly hit me.  Literally.  Doughnut, cinnamon roll and lots of curdled milk projected out of his mouth and directly on to my face.  Yes, it was in my nose, a little in my mouth and my eyes were glued shut. With the second and third heave he covered my shirt and the floor. 
Running with him in my arms and my eyes shut I got to the bathroom/laundry room to get some towels to clean up myself and the mess.  I wiped my eyes and gak, another round of warm vomit landed on an even warmer load of clean laundry fresh from the dryer.  I think I'll leave you now and go blow my nose for the millionth time and take another shower. 
Note:  Before bed last night he had a small fever and slept like crap (so did the rest of us). This morning he had no fever but was acting like he felt worse.  I'm a little concerned that this is the result of the bite on his forehead but I have had an upset stomach since late afternoon yesterday, had I been sick right after he puked on me I wouldn't have thought twice about it but I felt bad hours later and still felt a little sicky today. So, I think we must just be sharing a bug.