Dog Days

Author's note:  My dad did not condone or know I was posting this.  He has been warned about this post but after reading it I'm not sure he'll be glad he encouraged me to start writing again....


One of my favorite past times in the world is to get my dad to tell me stories of when he was an out-of-control teenager. He tells the best stories and no matter if the story ends with him and his buddies getting caught or if they got away with it, he always makes it seem like "in those days that's just how we did, we meant no harm, we were just having fun" (too bad for my brothers who grew up in the 80's and 90's he clearly didn't think their hi jinx were nearly as fun). I guess in those days you could be completely ridiculous as a teenager and you were just having good old fashioned fun.  (I have always wondered if the victims of his turkey snatching would agree).
One of the reasons it's so fun to talk to my dad about his childhood is because he's a pastor and yet was such a little shit when he was growing up.  The other reason it's so fun is because when he remembers all that craziness he laughs so hard at himself and you can tell even though he and his gang might have been trouble makers, they genuinely had FUN together doing it.  They weren't being mean or damaging, they weren't evil, they were just good 'ol boys with too much time on their hands and a childhood bond that gave them some sort of Superman complex.  They spent every day together with no tv or game center to numb their brains.  They were creative and had both the motive and means to carry out their half brained teenage ideas.
I'm not here to rat out my dad but for the sake of this post I need to tell you one of his stories.  (Yep, sorry Dad, I'll wait until you croak to tell the rest of your stories!). I don't know how I got it out of him but he once told me how he and his friends greeted each other from time to time when they were kids (I've never heard him greet anyone like this as an adult).
It went something like this: Hoodlum friend, "Hey Jimmy, what you doing?" Young hoodlum Jimmy, "Ah nothing, just f*ckin' the dog."  YES!  That's what they would say!!!  When I heard that I could couldn't take it!  It was just so dumb and funny at the same time.  I could just picture a teenage gang of boys hanging out at GB's in Wilson about 50 years ago. Of course in my dad's case they were in a tiny town in Iowa but either way you know they thought they were sooo cool.  I almost hear them talking under their breath, "just f*ckin' the dog" with the straightest faces!  It was too much, I had to tell Jess.
Now, here is the sole purpose of this post, my best friend in the whole world, Jess.  She is raising an amazing boy... on her own... who lost his dad in the war (who was her boyfriend from "little on up" as one of my residents use to say).  She went back to school, became an awesome nurse and assists in performing open heart surgery on teeny, tiny babies.  She does whatever it takes to put others needs first and is one of the most thoughtful and caring people I know.
She is also the bravest woman I know.  When I heard the "dog" greeting that my dad use to use, I knew what I had to do. I called Jess right away and told her the whole story.  We laughed so hard and then we obnoxiously greeting each other like that for a few months and cracked up each time.  Then one day we went to visit my parents in Wilson.  When we got there my parents lovingly greeted us and asked Jess how things were going, she looked my dad right in the eyes and with the straightest face and a gleam in her eyes said, "ah, you know, just f*ckin' the dog."  I have never loved that crazy girl more!!!